Josh's Crazy Random Happenstance

Whatever I want, whenever I want

Why Must Kids Be So Mean?

Well, why?!

Okay, with the title being what it is, I should probably make one thing clear. I will not be talking about real kids. I don’t feel like getting into that psychological talk. I will instead be discussing why cereal commercials always have jerk kids on them. You weren’t expecting that one were you?

I was sitting around playing Final Fantasy IX on my PSP the other night while my sister watched iCarly. I was kinda paying attention but I had already seen the episode so it didn’t bother me to not be completely focused. Anyways, a commercial came on for the cereal Cookie Crisp. I was watching it and then I was like, “Wtf, why are these kids such jerks?” and then I started thinking. There’s quite a few cereals where the kids are a bunch of jerks. Cookie Crisp, Trix, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch just to name a few.

Cookie Crisp wasn’t so bad back in the day, but there’s some going around now where the kids just aren’t cool, man. I’ll describe. A wolf brings a giant wooden cookie to the kids door. You might be going, “That’s creepy,” but you’re wrong!! See he doesn’t wanna eat the kids, he just wants their cookie crisp! He hides in the cookie and they use sarcasm throughout the rest of the commercial. Then they roll him down some hills and into a tree!! Why oh why couldn’t they just go, “Hey mr. wolf. Would you like some cookie crisp?” NO! They had to be big ol’ jerks about it and now he probably has to go to the hospital because I doubt that cookie had airbags.

Trix is the biggest offender of em all! They even have more than cereal. They have yogurt too! And in each one of the commercials they don’t let that bunny rabbit have any? Why?! Stupid motto, “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids!” SAYS WHO?! What cereal God made this so? And even if it is made for kids, why couldn’t they be nice and just let him have some? What’s going to happen if he has some? Will the earth explode? Will it cause a rip in the universe throwing space and time as we know it out of whack? What could be so bad about a bunny rabbit eatin’ some Trix?

Cinnamon Toast Crunch… yummy cereal. Still jerk kids in the commercials. They’re all actin’ like they’re cool. “Oh hey, see this guy, he can solve the hardest crimes ever, but can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?” and the guys all, “Uhh… cause it’s yummy?” and they’re all, “LOL OH YOU NUB! It’s cause it’s got cinnamon sugar swirls on every bite!!” He should be all, “Go brush your teeth before they rot. GET OUTTA MY CRIME SCENE!!”. Ugh, such stuck up punk lil kids. If I was that detective and I was that good at SOLVING crimes, I’d make a crime out of those kids, but no one would be able to solve it. Then I’d go, “Can you see why you’re DEAD?! It’s cause you’re a punk! Ya jerk!”

Those aren’t the only cereals either. They’re just the ones that come to mind first. Watch some cereal commercials.


June 20, 2010 Posted by | Random | , , , | 3 Comments